I hear ya about SEO — it certainly is a work in progress You’ve done a great job on the site so far though–well done!

To answer your question about the sales copy … yes, there’s a little bit of tweaking you could consider, for example:

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Winning Fashion Dog Collars

Win the race in this fashion dog collar! The perfect addition to your collar collection. First Place is yours in this bright pattern that wins attention.
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The headline reads as if you could actually win the collar–at least that’s how it reads to me. It looks like you’re using “fashion dog collars” as your primary keyphrase for this page. But when I look at your Meta keywords tag, I don’t see it listed there.

One of the things you could do is make the headline a little sexier and put your main keyphrase close the beginning. The cool thing about writing headlines and content for various products that are somewhat similar is that you can test different approaches to see what works best for conversion.

The next thing I noticed is that the second sentence is incomplete, so the writing doesn’t quite flow. Now, everyone’s writing style is slightly different, but you could consider something like this (and let’s use ‘unique dog collar’ as our KP):

This unique dog collar is the perfect addition to your canine’s collection. Sporting the Motor Speedway dog collar, your pooch is sure to win attention!

That’s just off the top of my head, but you can see where I’m going with it To give the keyphrase a little extra relevancy weight, you can hyperlink “unique dog collar” back to the dog collars landing page. You could also add a quick call to action (like, “order your Motor Speedway dog collar today) and hyperlink to the shopping cart page.

Just quick thoughts for you, Nikki Let me know how it goes!

Cheers

Aimee

In 3 months we have come from 30% to over 75% of visits from the SERP’s, with 3,000 visitors a month. We were on page 18 for our primary key phrase “dog collar” and now we’re on page 5.

Sales are up slightly, but not nearly as much as the traffic we are receiving. We are wondering if there may be issues with our sales copy? Do you think our sales message could be improved?